“When you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” – Wanda the Owl, BoJack Horseman
I’ve come to learn three unbendable rules in life. The first one being that you can’t change people. The second is that mistakes don’t happen a third time, but patterns do. The third one is once a cheater, always a cheater.
I’ve often found myself surrounded by serial forgivers, being people that hope that their partner will change. Usually, most of the time these people are victims of toxic relationships, given their forgiving nature.
That’s why I’ve decided to write to you if you’re a serial forgiver — reminding you that you deserve better. There’s one thing you should always remember, and it’s that people don’t change unless they want to. Unfortunately, serial forgivers fail to realize that cheating partners rarely ever change, especially if they’ve done it before. Cheating, is more than enough of a reason to break up with someone — it’s the epitome of betrayal, selfishness and disrespect.
Another thing to remember is that cheating is always a choice. Alcohol changes your perception of consequences, but it won’t change your character. If you turn into a horrible person when you’re drunk, I hate to break it to you — you’re actually a lousy person.
Quite often, if being in this type of a relationship is what turns the crazy switch on for you, it means somebody caused this and nine times out of ten, that somebody was a cheater. When you settle for a cheater, you go crazy and might even catch yourself spending hours stalking your partner, looking for clues that confirm your suspicions. You start questioning things, and stop trusting your partner when they tell you about where they are, or who they’re with. You turn yourself into an obsessive control freak and insecure person — all because you thought cheating wasn’t a good enough reason to break up.
There are many things in life which will give you headaches; work, school, or even rent. Despite all these life stresses, a relationship should be a bonus — a stress reliever. If you don’t trust your partner, you probably shouldn’t be together considering trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. They’re not adding anything but more stress into your life. People can change, but YOU are not gonna change them.
Respect yourself enough to take those red flags seriously. It’s time to remove those rose-coloured glasses.
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